Dear Fashionable Friends,
It’s finally here! The first post of the confidence series with Milan Darling and I! This week we’re starting out discussing body image. This one can be a touchy subject for me personally. I’m sure you’re asking why? I am 6ft tall and about 130lbs, with this being said most people assume I am perfectly happy or that I am not allowed to be unhappy with my body image.
Honestly I am 100% happy with my body image at this point in my life. But no, I have not always felt this way. Just because you are “skinny” doesn’t mean you’re happy with where your body is at. I have always been the tallest girl, I have been thin (literally my entire life), so this is all I know. When I was younger I was a lot thinner than I am now. Tall, lanky and lacking any type of curves.
Oh lets not forget to mention that I am a 32A cup and have never been anything bigger than that. I have always loved not having boobs simply because I hate bras and it just makes my life so easy and comfortable. I can wear just about anything and it not seem to “sexy” or “revealing”. BUT lets be real, society pushes us to see having big boobs as a must. Of course throughout high school and college I’ve seen and heard guys rave over the girls with the big boobs. Does not having boobs make me any less than a woman with a double D set, NO! It sucks that I had to learn that on my own.
I have never hated my body, but I did have to learn to love my body because it’s mine! Early on I realized everyone had bigger boobs than me, I also knew then that was what was “sexy” and very soon after that I knew I didn’t care and I liked mine just the way they were. I didn’t realize just how important it was to other women until I came to college and so many of my friends and co-workers would talk about how they wanted boob jobs.
Going to pool parties and being the only gal without cleavage was okay with me. But hearing this time after time again made me wonder if maybe that was something I’d want to change on my body. Then one day I caught myself thinking about it and I told myself, “NO ADRIANA!”. That is definitely not something you want now or have ever wanted before. The only reason that is even a thought is for the acceptance of others, for the approval of men. After that day that has never been a thought that has run through my mind again. This is my body, I should be happy with it and if there is anything I want to change it will be changed for me and not for the approval of others!
My last two years of college I have experienced a lot of anxiety and dealt with situational depression here and there. In the midst of all of that it has taken a toll on my body and eating habits. This is something I don’t talk about very often and it really hurts my heart when discussing weight and people assume they know my life. When my anxiety gets bad I will completely loose my appetite. With such a fast metabolism I will immediately loose weight. This is something that has been a challenge because as soon as I loose any weight my pants don’t fit and I become unhappy with the way I look. This is has been an up and down struggle with my sudden weight change. I had to learn that I am in control of my thoughts, emotions and how I let other people’s actions effect me. When I finally learned this I saw a difference in my overall life. This isn’t something that happens overnight of course.
Everyday is a learning experience, everyday is another day to work on yourself. How can you love anyone else, pour into anyone else or try to give someone else advice before you do so with yourself? It starts with you. I love my body, I love my a-cup boobs and my not so curvy legs. Not because it’s what society defines as beautiful but because this is how I define my own beauty.
So, yes! I tower over every woman in a room usually. I am rail thin and I don’t have a rack of boobs exposing cleavage that most women have. I have extremely dark skin and guess what?! I love it all. I love me and I want to forever embrace all of these things that make me different from the girl standing next to me.
I can not stress enough dear that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Everyone is different, unique and beautiful in their own way. There is no one look that will ever define beauty so don’t let anyone else trick you into thinking otherwise. We all have our struggles, we all have things we want to fix and that is okay. But make sure that you are doing this in a healthy way!
Never judge a book by it’s cover. That girl that you think is so pretty or has the perfect body has her own personal struggles just like you. So the next time you’re in a group discussing insecurities please be aware of other peoples feelings and insecurities.
I love you, darling!
Don’t forget to check out Milan Darling’s story HERE
NastyGal Swimsuit (Sold Out) Similar Swimsuit
p.s- I have been so excited to share this swimsuit with you guys! I originally purchased it for my boat party and fell in absolute love. UH-OH.. Unfortunately I waited to late to link it and they are now sold out. I am so sorry! But I linked a similar style HERE. Be sure to check the site out because SALES!
Catch you on the flip side,